Let's play carpenter! First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells.The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus.What does a perverted frog say? "Rubbit.".Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.What do tofu and dildos have in common? They are both meat substitutes.The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there.She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's." "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife.What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring.Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive.Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra."I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled.What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me.".The Cardinals have never faced Cabrini and have only played Roger Williams once before, a 17-7 win all the way back in 2011.READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes For Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Wesleyan owns the third-best offense and second-best defense in the NESCAC, averaging 13.82 goals per game and allowing just 7.76 per game. Eight players have at least 21 points this season while nine have double digit goal totals. The 2023 Cardinals head into the NCAA Tournament armed with a 14-3 overall record and contributors across the lineup. Wesleyan has had great success recently in NCAA Tournament, advancing to the Third Round three straight trips including a thrilling Final Four run in 2019. Most-recently, Wesleyan defeated York 13-11 in Second Round action from the campus of York College in 2022, before falling in a tight 13-11 battle against Washington & Lee in the Third Round. The Cardinals gain an at-large bid into the NCAA Tournament and are set to host national postseason tournament action after a resounding regular season that saw Wesleyan earn the #2 seed, their highest seeding ever in the NESCAC Tournament.ĭating back to 2019, Wesleyan is 25-5 in games played on Smith Field while the Cardinals have advanced to the Third Round of the NCAA Tournament in three straight appearances (2018, 2019, 2022). The Cardinals (14-3) are making their fifth consecutive NCAA Tournament appearance and will face the winner of the First Round tilt between Roger Williams and Cabrini (also held at Smith Field this Saturday) on Sunday, May 14 at 1 PM. – For the third time in program history, the Wesleyan women's lacrosse team will be hosting NCAA Tournament games.
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